Cover image for The ethical slut : a practical guide to polyamory, open relationships and other adventures / Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton.
The ethical slut : a practical guide to polyamory, open relationships and other adventures / Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton.
Third edition.
Publication Information:
California : Ten Speed Press, [2017]

Physical Description:
311 pages ; 23 cm
Added Author:


Call Number
Material Type
Home Location
306.84230973 HAR Book Adult General Collection
306.84230973 HAR Book Adult General Collection

On Order



For 20 years The Ethical Slut has dispelled myths and showed curious readers how to maintain a successful polyamorous lifestyle through open communication, emotional honesty, and safer sex practices. The third edition of this timeless guide to communication and sex has been revised to include interviews with poly millennials (young people who have grown up without the prejudices their elders encountered regarding gender, orientation, sexuality, and relationships), tributes to poly pioneers, and new sidebars on topics such as asexuality, sex workers, and ways polys can connect and thrive. The authors also include new content addressing nontraditional relationships beyond the polyamorous paradigm of "more than two"- couples who don't live together, couples who don't have sex with each other, nonparallel arrangements, couples with widely divergent sex styles, power disparities, and cross-orientation relationships, while utilizing nonbinary gender language and new terms that have come into common usage since the last edition.

Publication History-Revised and Updated

Author Notes

JANET W. HARDY is the author of more than ten books and the founder of Greenery Press, a now defunct publisher specializing in sexually adventurous books. She has an MFA in creative writing from St. Mary's College, and swore off monogamy in 1987. DOSSIE EASTON is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in alternative sexualities and relationships, with twenty years of experience counseling open relationships. She is the author of four other books, and has been an ethical slut since 1969.

Table of Contents

Part 1 Welcome
1 Who Is an Ethical Slut?p. 1
2 Myths and Realitiesp. 10
3 Our Beliefsp. 23
4 Slut Stylesp. 31
5 Battling Sex Negativityp. 47
6 Building a Culture or Consentp. 53
7 Infinite Possibilitiesp. 60
Part 2 The Practice of Sluthood
8 Abundancep. 75
9 Slut Skillsp. 83
10 Boundariesp. 92
11 The Unethical Slutp. 99
12 Flirting and Cruisingp. 103
13 Keeping Sex Safep. 113
14 Childrearingp. 123
Part 3 Navigating Challenges
15 Roadmaps through Jealousyp. 135
16 Embracing Conflictp. 158
17 Making Agreementsp. 172
18 Opening an Existing Relationshipp. 186
Part 4 Sluts in Love
19 Making Connectionp. 201
20 Couples and Groupsp. 210
21 The Single Slutp. 224
22 The Ebb and Flow of Relationshipsp. 235
23 Sex and Pleasurep. 243
24 Public Sex, Group Sex, and Orgiesp. 270
Conclusion: A Slut Utopiap. 292
A Slut's Glossaryp. 296
Further Readingp. 302
About the Authorsp. 305
Indexp. 306
Sluts We Know and Lovep. 12
Some Affirmations to Tryp. 90
Practice Makes Perfectp. 115
How Do You Experience Jealousy?p. 141
Reassurancep. 149
Fifteen Ways to Be Kind to Yourselfp. 152
Treasuresp. 154
Feelings Dyadp. 166
Eight Steps to Win-Win Conflict Resolutionp. 177
What Is Anger Good For?p. 191
Hierarchy of Hardp. 193
The Twenty-Minute Fightp. 196
The Airport Gamep. 204
A Healthy Breakupp. 242
The Process-Free Datep. 256
A Hot Date with Yourselfp. 257
Yes, No, Maybep. 261
More Fun with Your "Yes, No, Maybe" Listp. 263
Get Loudp. 269