Cover image for Voice lessons for parents : what to say, how to say it, and when to listen / Wendy Mogel, PhD.
Title:
Voice lessons for parents : what to say, how to say it, and when to listen / Wendy Mogel, PhD.
ISBN:
9781501142406
Edition:
First Scribner paperback edition.
Publication Information:
New York, NY : Scribner, 2019

©2018
Physical Description:
xvi, 315 pages ; 22 cm
Contents:
The audience is listening : from infancy through toddlerhood -- The Great cathedral space of childhood : learning the language of your child's world -- The biggest, strongest, fastest : connecting with young boys -- The boss, the bestie, the high priestess of pretend : conversing with young girls -- Hard topics : talking to young children about sex, death, and money -- Spirit guides in disguise : an introduction to teenagers -- The exchange student from Kazakhstan : teenage boys -- The visiting niece from a distant state : teenage girls -- The opinionators : teaming up with your partner, your ex, the grandparents, and "Olivia's mom" -- The trustees : getting the best out of nannies, teachers, coaches, and other adults in your child's life -- Appendix: Relative differences between boys and girls in brain development and function, expanded.
Abstract:
"Most parents are perfectly fine communicators--unless they're talking to their children. Then, too often, their pitch rises and they come across as pleading, indignant, wounded, outraged. In tone and body language they signal, 'I can't handle it when you act like a child.' Observing this pattern with her patients, Dr. Wendy Mogel developed a remarkably effective series of "voice lessons" for parents who were struggling with their kids. The results were immediate: A shift in vocal style made the children calmer. They listened more attentively and communicated with more warmth, respect, and sincerity. In "Voice lessons for parents", Mogel elaborates on her novel clinical approach, revealing how each age and stage of a child's life brings new opportunities to connect through language."-- Provided by publisher
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Summary

Summary

New York Times bestselling author Dr. Wendy Mogel " teaches parents the dialect needed to converse with their daughters and sons at every stage of life. It's kind and loving, but it's also strategic" ( Chicago Tribune).

Most parents are perfectly fine communicators--unless they're talking to their children. Then, too often, their pitch rises and they come across as pleading, indignant, wounded, outraged. In tone and body language they signal, I can't handle it when you act like a child.

Dr. Wendy Mogel, "one of the most astute psychologists on the planet (Angela Duckworth, New York Times bestselling author of Grit ) saw this pattern time and again in her clinical practice. In response, she developed a remarkably effective series of "voice lessons," which she shared with parents who were struggling with their kids. The results were immediate: a shift in vocal style led to children who were calmer, listened more attentively, and communicated with more warmth, respect, and sincerity.

In Voice Lessons for Parents , Mogel elaborates on her novel clinical approach, revealing how each age and stage of a child's life brings new opportunities to connect through language. Drawing from sources as diverse as neuroscience, fairy tales, and anthropology, Mogel offers specific guidance for talking to children across the expanse of childhood and adolescence. She also explains the best ways to talk about your child to partners, exes, and grandparents, as well as to teachers, coaches, and caretakers.

Throughout the book, Mogel addresses the distraction of digital devices--how they impact our connection with our families, and what we can do about it. "In this intelligent and useful book, Wendy Mogel explains how the tenor of your remarks may make as much difference as their content...and shows how minor adjustments may help lower the inherent tension of parent-child relationships" (Andrew Solomon, bestselling author of Far From the Tree ).


Author Notes

Wendy Mogel, PhD, is a practicing social-clinical psychologist, international public speaker, and author of the New York Times bestseller The Blessing of a Skinned Knee and The Blessing of a B Minus. She lives in Los Angeles.


Table of Contents

Author's Notep. xiii
Introductionp. 1
1 The Audience Is Listening: From Infancy through Toddlerhoodp. 7
2 The Great Cathedral Space of Childhood: Learning the Language of Your Child's Worldp. 27
3 The Biggest, Strongest, Fastest: Connecting with Young Boysp. 55
4 The Boss, the Bestie, the High Priestess of Pretend: Conversing with Young Girlsp. 87
5 Hard Topics: Talking to Young Children about Sex, Death, and Moneyp. 123
6 Spirit Guides in Disguise: An Introduction to Teenagersp. 157
7 The Exchange Student from Kazakhstan: Teenage Boysp. 183
8 The Visiting Niece from a Distant State: Teenage Girlsp. 199
9 The Opinionators: Teaming Up with Your Partner, Your Ex, the Grandparents, and "Olivia's Mom"p. 215
10 The Trustees: Getting the Best Out of Nannies, Teachers, Coaches, and Other Adults in Your Child's Lifep. 243
Epiloguep. 271
Acknowledgmentsp. 273
Recommended Readingp. 275
Appendix: Relative Differences between Boys and Girls in Brain Development and Function, Expandedp. 279
Notesp. 283
Indexp. 289
Book Club Favorites Reader's Guide: Setting Up a Parenting Class or Discussion Groupp. 303