Cover image for Your dad stole my rake and other family dilemmas / Tom Papa.
Title:
Your dad stole my rake and other family dilemmas / Tom Papa.
Author:
ISBN:
9781250144386
Edition:
First edition.
Publication Information:
New York : St. Martin's Press, 2018.
Physical Description:
xii, 286 pages ; 25 cm
Contents:
Mom & dads. No presents for Dad ; Call your mother before she's dead ; Tiger Mom vs. Ice-cream Mom ; Things you find on Mom ; Don't ask your father ; Your children should at least think you might spank them ; Things you find on Dad ; Stop trying to be cool -- Children. welcome to plain pasta, can I take your oder? ; The kid with the googly eye ; Your baby doesn't want to go anywhere with you ; Boys stink ; How to yell at your children ; Morning people ; In defense of family vacations ; The happiest place on earth? ; No fighting before coffee ; Least popular baby names ; School sucks! -- Family life. Someone threw up there ; Worst family vacation spots ; Nuttier than a fruitcake ; No phones at the tablay ; Stay out of the emergency room ; Tell me that story again ; Bad family games ; Birthday parties belong at home ; Fun family traditions -- Husbands. There are no great guys ; Don't drag him to an art gallery while on vacation ; Things husbands lie about ; You aren't marrying who you think you are ; John is dead -- Wives. The wife lie detector ; the importance of the forced romantic getaway ; We'll sleep when we're dead ; That cute thing she does ; What men think their wives do in the bathroom ; Leave the past alone ; There's no such thing as a soul mate -- Pets. Your cat thinks you're too needy ; Your dog doesn't want to go to a restaurant with you ; Get a fish ; Good family pets ; Requiems for Smokey ; Bad family pets -- Grandparents. Fishing for sky ; Old people shouldn't twerk ; Perfect gift ideas for Grandma ; Who's watching who? ; Bad gift ideas for Grandma -- The outlaws. Your father-in-law doesn't like you either ; Best places to bring your daughter's boyfriend ; Your Mom's not the boss of me -- Brothers & sisters. Mistake in the woods ; The brother I never had -- Aunts, uncles & cousins too. Cool aunt vs. creepy aunt ; Uncle Al, all the kids' pal ; Cool things to do with your uncle when you're young ; Your cousins will ruin your life -- Strangers. Rocky Road ; New Americans (Trolls ; Techno-idiots ; The super sports fan ; The angry, middle-aged white guy ; Hot moms ; Know-nothing life masters) ; People to avoid on a plane -- And finally...just eat the bread.
Abstract:
Stand-up comedian and family man Tom Papa explores how we deal with our inescapable relatives and their bizarre behavior. A warm, hilarious book that saws deep into every branch of the family tree and uncovers the most hysterical and surprisingly meaningful aspects of our lives.
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Summary

Summary

"I have been a close friend of Tom Papa for 17 years. His lack of ability to perceive even the most basic principles of human functioning have made him an invaluable asset to me as a friend and colleague. Because he sees nothing, knows nothing and understands nothing, I always seek his advice for the most complex matters. Furthermore, I would definitely recommend whatever the name of this book is, because I know it comes from a place of pure nonsense without any knowledge of anything. He isreally one of my favorite people." --Jerry Seinfeld, author of SeinLanguage

"Finally a funny book about parenting. Great observations. Great writing. Actually funny. I've always known Tom was hysterical, now I know he is a great writer and a fantastic storyteller. Can Tom Papa write all books?" --Jim Gaffigan, author of Dad is Fat

It's hard being a person, especially in a family, and no one knows that better than stand-up comedian, family man, and Live From Here head writer and performer, Tom Papa.

How do you deal with a life filled with a whole host of characters and their bizarre, inescapable behavior? Especially when you're related to them? Tom Papa is here to help you make sense of it all. Your Dad Stole My Rake is a hilarious and warm book that saws deep into every branch of the family tree and uncovers the most bizarre and surprisingly meaningful aspects of our lives. He exposes everyone, from crazy aunts with mustaches, grandparents who communicate by yelling, and uncles who use marijuana as a condiment.

Among the topics covered:
- Tiger Mom v. Ice-Cream Mom
- Stop Trying to be Cool
- In Defense of Family Vacations
- No Fighting Before Coffee
- Least Popular Baby Names
- Wife Lie Detector
- Your Cat Thinks You're Too Needy

Anyone who has a family, grew up in a family, or has spent time with another human being will love this book.


Author Notes

TOM PAPA is a comedian known for his work in film, television and radio as well as on the live stage. He is the head writer for Live From Here as well as a regular performer on the legendary radio show, which reaches 2.6 million fans weekly. He has recorded three stand-up specials that are all currently streaming. When not touring the country, Tom lives in New York and Los Angeles with his wife and family.


Reviews 1

Library Journal Review

Forget tiger mom, stand-up comedian Papa (lead writer, A Prairie Home -Companion) introduces the much more palatable ice cream mom and admonishes us to call our moms before they die of martyrdom and explores why giving dad gifts is a waste (the best present is to leave him alone). Lauded by fellow -comedians Jerry Seinfeld and Jim Gaffigan (Dad Is Fat), Papa will send readers into peals of laughter as he delves into why the real necessities of a "kid friendly" vacation are vending machine snacks and ice and why having sick children is like working for FEMA (it involves "mopping things up, carrying bodies, and doing laundry"). This is a quick read, with brief chapters that keep readers turning pages and perhaps reaching for a tissue to soak up tears of hilarity. Truth is oftentimes stranger than fiction, and the bizarre characters we are related to may just provide the best comic relief. VERDICT At times poignant, always tickling the funny bone, Papa's first book will brighten the most challenging days of toddler- and teenagerhood. © Copyright 2018. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.


Table of Contents

Introductionp. ix
Moms & Dads
No Presents for Dadp. 5
Call Your Mother Before She's Deadp. 8
Tiger Mom vs. Ice-Cream Momp. 11
Things You Find on Momp. 15
Don't Ask Your Fatherp. 16
Your Children Should at Least Think You Might Spank Themp. 19
Things You Find on Dadp. 22
Stop Trying to Be Coolp. 23
Children
Welcome to Plain Pasta, Can I Take Your Order?p. 31
The Kid with the Googly Eyep. 35
Your Baby Doesn't Want to Go Anywhere with Youp. 41
Boys Stinkp. 45
How to Yell at Your Childrenp. 49
Morning Peoplep. 53
In Defense of Family Vacationsp. 58
The Happiest Place on Earth?p. 63
No Fighting Before Coffeep. 68
Least Popular Baby Namesp. 72
School Sucks!p. 73
Family Life
Someone Threw Up Therep. 81
Worst Family Vacation Spotsp. 87
Nuttier Than a Fruitcakep. 88
No Phones at the Tablayp. 95
Stay Out of the Emergency Roomp. 100
Tell Me that Story Againp. 104
Bad Family Gamesp. 109
Birthday Parties Belong at Homep. 110
Fun Family Traditionsp. 115
Husbands
There Are No Great Guysp. 121
Don't Drag Him to an Art Gallery While on Vacationp. 127
Things Husbands Lie Aboutp. 131
You Aren't Marrying Who You Think You Arep. 132
John Is Deadp. 136
Wives
The Wile Lie Detectorp. 143
The Importance of the Forced Romantic Getawayp. 146
We'll Sleep When Were Deadp. 150
That Cute Thing She Doesp. 154
What Men Think Their Wives Do in the Bathroomp. 160
Leave the Past Alonep. 161
There's No Such Thing as a Soul Matep. 165
Pets
Your Cat Thinks Yor're Needyp. 173
Your Dog Doesn't Want to Go to a Restaurant with Youp. 176
Get a Fishp. 179
Good Family Petsp. 182
Requiem for Smokeyp. 183
Bad Family Petsp. 187
Grandparents
Fishing for Skyp. 193
Old People Shouldn't Twerkp. 200
Perfect Gift Ideas for Grandmap. 204
Who's Watching Who?p. 205
Bad Gift Ideas for Grandmap. 208
The outlaws
Your Father-in-Law Doesn't Like You Eitherp. 211
Best Places to Bring Your Daughter's Boyfriendp. 216
Your Mom's Not the Boss of Mep. 217
Brothers & sisters
Mistake in the Woodsp. 227
The Brother I Never Hadp. 235
Aunts, Uncles & Cousins too
Cool Aunt vs. Creepy Auntp. 245
Uncle Al, All the Kids' Palp. 250
Cool Things to Do with Your Uncle When You're Youngp. 256
Your Cousins Will Ruin Your Lifep. 257
Strangers
Rocky Roadp. 265
New Americansp. 270
Trollsp. 270
Techno-Idiotsp. 272
The Super Sports Fanp. 272
The Angry, Middle-Aged White Guyp. 274
Hot Momsp. 275
Know-Nothing Life Mastersp. 276
People to Avoid on a Planep. 279
And, Finally ... Just Eat the Breadp. 280
Acknowledgmentsp. 285
Couponsp. 287