Cover image for Reinforcements : how to get people to help you / Heidi Grant.
Title:
Reinforcements : how to get people to help you / Heidi Grant.
ISBN:
9781633692350
Publication Information:
Boston, Massachusetts : Harvard Business Review Press, [2018]

©2018
Physical Description:
200 pages ; 22 cm
Contents:
Asking for help is the worst. It makes us feel bad ; We assume others will say no ; We assume asking for help makes us less likable -- How to ask anyway. The inherent paradox in asking for help ; The four steps to getting the help you need Don't make it weird -- Creating a culture of helpfulness. The in-group reinforcement ; The positive identity reinforcement ; The effectiveness reinforcement.
Abstract:
We all need help--especially in today's uber-collaborative workplaces. Here's the good news: humans are naturally wired to want to help each other. Now here's the bad: asking for help makes most of us wildly uncomfortable. As a result, we do a poor job of calling in the reinforcements we need, leaving confused or even offended colleagues in our wake. This pragmatic book explains the research on what psychologists call social intelligence. To elicit helpful behavior from their colleagues, you need to do two things: 1) Remove the obstacles that stand in the way of them helping you; 2) Trigger one or more of the motivations that make people want to help. Whether you're a first-time manager or a seasoned leader, getting people to do things for you is what management is. This book will help you do so, and do it in a way that leaves your helpers feeling good about pitching in.-- Provided by publisher.
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Summary

Summary

Imagine walking up to a stranger on the subway and asking them for their seat. What about asking a random person on the street if you could borrow their phone? If the idea makes you squeamish, you're not alone--social psychologists have found that doing these very things makes most of us almost unbearably uncomfortable.

But here's the funny thing: even though we hate to ask for help, most people are wired to be helpful . And that's a good thing, because every day in the modern, uber-collaborative workplace, we all need to know when and how to call in the cavalry.

However, asking people for help isn't intuitive; in fact, a lot of our instincts are wrong. As a result, we do a poor job of calling in the reinforcements we need, leaving confused or even offended colleagues in our wake.

This pragmatic book explains how to get it right. With humor, insight, and engaging storytelling, Heidi Grant, PhD, describes how to elicit helpful behavior from your friends, family, and colleagues--in a way that leaves them feeling genuinely happy to lend a hand.

Whether you're a first-time manager or a seasoned leader, getting people to pitch in is what leadership is . Fortunately, people have a natural instinct to help other human beings; you just need to know how to channel this urge into what it is you specifically need them to do. It's not manipulation. It's just management.


Author Notes

Heidi Grant, PhD , is a social psychologist who researches, writes, and speaks about the science of motivation. She is Global Director of Research & Development at the NeuroLeadership Institute and serves as Associate Director of Columbia's Motivation Science Center. She received her doctorate in social psychology from Columbia University.


Reviews 1

Library Journal Review

Social psychologist Grant (associate director, Columbia Business Sch.'s Motivation Science Ctr.; global director of research and development, NeuroLeadership Inst.; Nine Things Successful People Do Differently) directs her attention to asking for help in this new book. Grant acknowledges that such a move is extremely difficult; research indicates that most of us think asking for assistance makes us appear weak and less likeable and that everyone we ask will say no. Results from Grant's research and that of colleagues indicate these assumptions are incorrect. Humans are wired to assist one another and in fact, if we turn down a request for help, we usually feel quite uncomfortable. But as Grant says, knowing whom to ask, how to ask, and the underlying psychological principles involved in the exchange can make all the difference in our willingness to seek help. VERDICT Concise, practical guidance accompanied by applicable real-life examples; written especially for those in management and leadership positions.-Jane Scott, Clark Lib., Univ. of Portland, OR © Copyright 2018. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.


Table of Contents

Part 1 Asking for Help Is the Worst
1 It Makes Us Feel Badp. 3
2 We Assume Others Will Say Nop. 21
3 We Assume Asking for Help Makes Us Less Likablep. 37
Part 2 How to Ask Anyway
4 The Inherent Paradox in Asking for Helpp. 57
5 The Four Steps to Getting the Help You Needp. 79
6 Don't Make It Weirdp. 99
Part 3 Creating a Culture of Helpfulness
7 The In-Group Reinforcementp. 121
8 The Positive Identity Reinforcementp. 143
9 The Effectiveness Reinforcementp. 163
Notesp. 179
Indexp. 189
Acknowledgmentsp. 199
About the Authorp. 201